I Lift My Eyes Up

NaBloPoMo prompt: What would you change about yourself

I try hard not to look at the negative aspects of myself. The things I’d like to change, wish were different, areas that need improvement. Focusing here, too me, seems to take me to places I’d rather not be.

With that being said, there is one area that I work on daily to change, improve, bring light into, and that’s my IDEALISTIC VISIONS.

So many times, I go into a situation with high expectations or visions of a perfect moment. I envision things and end up angry, frustrated, and at times tantrum filled, when these visions aren’t “picture perfect.”

After one particularly bad day of an unrealized vision, I heard ALWAYS at church. It’s a cliché, but it spoke to me!

All my frustration, all my feelings of being conspired against, melted with the music. It became my “IDEAL” song. The song I hear in my mind as I deal with my children’s crazy antics, or when I try to achieve too much, and especially when I have too much to say and the words won’t come.

Here are some example of my IDEAL VISIONS that didn’t go according to plan. My first response was to be angry causing me to miss out on fun, beauty or the moment. As I lifted my eyes up in SEARCH of help, peace, the calm within my inner storm, I’d hear ALWAYS playing quietly but persistently in my mind. The CHANGE in myself and attitude instantaneous!

“My foes are many, they rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the ways.”

Kids without TRUE smiles

My favorite all time kid picture!

After wrangling for, wrestling with, and failing to get a good picture of all three kids, I focused on the girls who were, on this day, bonding together against their brother’s antics. As I took their picture, he photo bombed and I got all three!

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
From You Lord, from You Lord

While trying to take a family picture at the tree farm with a tripod, the resident dog kept getting into the picture. At first it was frustrating! I didn’t want some random dog in my picture! But the ever persistent dog reduced us to hysterics trying to throw a ball far enough for him to run off and get in place before he showed up again… By the end we got a great shot of all of us cracking up!

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way, my help is on the way

I planned to take my camera on our mud run with thoughts of capturing ALL OF US in various stages of the race. My girls ditched us right away leaving me with the decision to either catch them and drag them back to us or be happy with pictures of just the boys. I wouldn’t have gotten this shot trying to take pictures of everyone.

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I tried to get a great shot of Logan near the campfire and after fighting him into position and getting AWFUL pictures, I once again, lifted my eyes up, and relaxed. The end result: Magical!

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always, always